feeling burdened…

it amazes me and puts the renewed fear of God in me when i’m reminded of the story in the old testament of achan… a man who disobeyed his authority’s instructions and took something from the spoils of war. he hid them under his tent. (you can read about it in joshua 7). when joshua sent his troops to what seemed an easy and obvious victory, they were defeated… defeated and confused. why would they lose? had they lost God’s favor? when joshua cried out to God and asked Him why they had been defeated, God answered, “there are cursed things in the camp.”

there are cursed things in the camp.

“cursed” – evil, ungodly, disgusting, forbidden, wicked…

why aren’t we winning the battle? there are evil things in the camp… why aren’t we succeeding in our attempts? there are ungodly things in the camp… why is the seemingly simple turning into the complicated? there are disgusting things in the camp… forbidden things, wicked things.

and they are hidden. under the tent. no one can see them. only we know if they are there in our own lives…

and the battle will NOT be won as long as something is hidden…

i cannot tell you how that makes me take my life into account again… what am i hiding? what is ungodly? what is forbidden?

we hate words like that in the church now… words like “forbidden. wicked. evil.” those words are so NOT politically correct, so “judgemental,” and not at all “tolerant.” we sometimes prefer words like “unwise.” or we like to say, “i’m struggling,” instead of “i’m sinning.”

one of the things that is hardest for me to overcome is the ability to get “smart” with what i know. i can so easily justify and explain things…i can come up with scriptures and arguments and reasoning… i can convince myself that i am ok, that i am alright. i start filling my journals with the scriptures about “His mercy is new every morning,” and “God is faithful and just to forgive us…” (which are all true, but i use these verses to hide all the more, not to expose and heal). i can hide behind knowledge. knowledge puffs up. knowledge gives me false security. knowledge gives me false spirituality…

i know it’s not just me… when God says, “be holy as I am holy,” how do we somehow take that to mean that it’s ok for us to watch programs on tv that are about adultery and fornication?? yes, maybe there are no “scenes,” but we’re being entertained by the drama of SIN. we’re being entertained by music about SIN.

we’re being entertained by the very things that put Jesus Christ on the Cross of Calvary… we’re laughing at it, being amused by it… how it must hurt His heart…

why isn’t “the Church” winning the battles? maybe because we have the forbidden in our tent. we can’t say, “it’s in my tent, it’s my business, my personal choices are not affecting anyone else.” oh yes, they are.

my pastor said something powerful this past week – authority is there to keep you from sin. sin will keep you from your authority. is there ANYTHING AT ALL in your life that you would not want to show your pastor or tell him/her about?? i can almost guarantee you that that thing, whatever it may be, is not of God. anything we want to hide is not of God. yes, there are things in our lives that are private and personal… i would NOT want to expose every detail of my life to any passer by. but my authority? my pastors? my leaders?? that’s what they are THERE for… to keep me safe, to walk with me, to help me be the overcomer!! when i say that anything we want to hide is not from God, i’m not talking about personal things that we keep from the general public… when surgery is done, it’s not done in the public square. we don’t want to expose our problem or our hurt to anyone and everyone. there is a place. there is a team. there is the Great Surgeon (God) and His nurses (our leaders) who are there to expose the sickness or the problem and deal with it. they bring it to the light… they uncover it so that it might be corrected and then healed and then covered (but this time, it’s God, in His mercy and His unfailing love, that covers the wound so that it might heal…He gives the nurses (the leaders) the instructions on how to care for us and follow it up…). the Great Surgeon tells His team what to do and what not to do (trust your pastors…)

oh God, let it not be me… let me not be the one hiding something in my tent, something forbidden, something evil, something unholy…and causing defeat. help me, Lord, to have the boldness to TRUST YOU and TRUST those that YOU have given to help me… help me to lay aside pride that would keep me from exposing what i need to…

…help me to be holy as You are holy…

2 thoughts on “feeling burdened…

  1. Rapture says:

    Well said Rebekah. I'm learning about the interesting ways by which we rename sin to make it more tolerable. Do you know its less condemning to say 'gay' as opposed to 'homosexual'. There are examples in the Bible where people rename sin to tolerate it. One thing amazes me though, is the issue of idolatry. This one they didn't bother renaming…its called pop idols. and we have people even in church contesting to be an idol. This clearly tells of how desensitized people have become. The devil is definitely getting the job done. I am ashamed even to mention some of the movies I watch. I am 'struggling' 🙂

    Like

  2. Monicah says:

    very powerful….facing truth sometimes is hard and painful. I totally agree with you, we the church need to come into terms with where we are at and deal with our SIN….otherwise we will loose our voice completely….Bless you preacher Dawn!!!

    Like

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